The Tights Mystery
by Elli-Dawn
Summary: Roberto the hero in tights vs Edward the villain in tights accompanied by their sidekicks Alberto and Louis. Edward's goal is to be the sexiest man in tights and Roberto rivals him. I might make a continuation of this, a bunch of random silly chapters.


Roberto the tights wearing hero was facing off against Edward the tights wearing villian. Both had been going at it for ages, neither side wanted to give in. "Stop! You'll never beat me!" Roberto shouted as he pulled out a giant button from his tights. "Haha! Stop? Never!" Edward laughed as he striked a pose and the pulled a rose from his cape and held it to his nose. "Louis!" Edward shouted and Louis ran up to his side. "Yes, sir?" Louis stood up straight awaiting his orders. "Get the ray gun! We must put a stop to him now!" Edward said sternly as he watched Roberto. Louis gulped and looked around shyly. "Ummm..."

Edward noticed his uneasiness and questioned him. "What's wrong Louis?" Louis swallowed hard before speaking up. "I left that at home today..." Louis nervously laughed and Edward's face froze and his eye twitched. "No... Noooo!" Edward shouted as he fell to the ground.

In the distance Roberto couldn't help but laugh at the grieving Edward. "Alberto!" Roberto called out to his sidekick and immediately Alberto rushed to his side. He was carrying various things with him, all things a secret spy would need. Alberto bowed before Roberto. "Yes, what do you need?" Roberto was still laughing as he looked at him. "Ohh, nothing really... Just... Hahaha." Roberto couldn't contain his laughter, Alberto raised an eyebrow perplexed at what had him so worked up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Haha..." Roberto tried to calm himself. "It's just... Look at that." Roberto pointed at Edward, he was laying on the ground sobbing in the distance with a panicked Louis next to him trying to get Edward to calm down. Alberto looked in the direction Roberto was pointing and finally noticed how Edward was acting; he tried his best to hold back his laughter but unfortunately wasn't quite able to. "Ahaha..." Alberto had started laughing but immediately stopped himself as he covered his mouth with his hand; his face reddened, Alberto was embarrassed by his actions.

Roberto laughed even harder seeing Alberto's face and poked him on the forehead. "It's okay to laugh you know but pfft your face right now it's nearly as funny as Ed and Louis!" Roberto laughed even harder but suddenly that stopped when he noticed something. "Al!" Roberto gasped as he looked at his pants. "Your pants!" Alberto looked away and fidgeted at the fact Roberto finally noticed. "Where are your tights!? My sidekick needs to be in tights!"

Alberto continued to move around uncomfortably, "...Uhh, they are getting dry-cleaned. Yeah that's it!" He said trying to convince Roberto but he wasn't buying it. "Dry-cleaned!? Nonsense! They were just cleaned last week after Louis sprayed the ketchup on you!" Roberto said as he glared at Alberto. Alberto felt sweat drip down his back as he was breaking under his masters glare. "Ohh... Right! I couldn't find them, I must have miss placed them." Roberto suddenly started laughing and Alberto turned to look at him. "Haha, pfft, no way! They were right next to mine so that's not possible." Alberto knew there was no getting out of this, his eyes darted around nervously until they landed on Louis. "Oh! Look!" Alberto pointed at Louis and Roberto immediately gazed over curiously. "Yes that's Louis. What about him? Edward's still in a heap crying. Did you want to laugh some more?" Alberto shook his head and looked at Roberto giving him a 'heck no I don't wanna laugh at him, are you crazy?' Look. "No, look! Louis isn't wearing his tights either!" Alberto said as if he was a little child happy to find something. Roberto gasped as he saw. "He isn't!" Roberto was in complete shock that neither his sidekick or Edward's were wearing their tights.

"Maybe that's why Ed's crying! Because Louis isn't wearing his tights!" Roberto shouted and started to march over to them before Alberto even had a chance to say anything, but thinking this was his chance to get Roberto off his back he let him go. "Al!" Roberto suddenly stopped and demanded Alberto to follow him. Alberto sighed, he knew it was hopeless. Once Roberto has his mind set on something it's useless. Alberto dragged his feet along as he followed behind.

Louis noticed their approach and was hurriedly shaking Edward trying to get him out of his daze but Edward just kept repeating the same words again and again. "I'm suppose to be the sexiest man in tights... Why... Why won't he give up..." Louis was being gentle at first but now he was nearly at breaking point from how his master was acting. "Edward!" Louis Shouted not caring about formalites. He had to get Edward out of his stupor before the others approached and so he slapped him across the face. Edward let out a loud yelp and bolted straight up. He started rubbing his face and pouted as he looked at Louis. Louis just grinned at him and pointed to the on comers. Edward's eyes widened as he saw. "Why can't they just let a man cry in peace!" Edward's lips quivered as he shouted. "It seems like they want something." Louis said. Edward immediately got to his feet and put his guard up as he glared at them in the distance. "They are not getting my tights!" Edward shouted. Louis who had been staring at Roberto immediately looked at Edward with his mouth agape from hearing those words. "I... I don't think they intend on stealing your tights... If they were, don't you think they would have done it ages ago?" Edward just huffed. "You never know! They are jealous of my beauty and how good I look in tights." Edward paused and flicked his hair with his hand as he striked a pose, "Why else do you think Roberto is always fighting me?" Louis shook his head and let out a sigh. "I thought it's because you are after Roberto... You think he rivals your sexiness... That's why you fight him... You are after his tights..." Louis mumbled to himself. "What was that?" Edward looked over at Louis curiously. "N-Nothing. I was just saying how Sexy those tights make you look!" Louis nervously laughed and Edward looked pleased by his answer.

Roberto now stood infront of them with Alberto by his side. Roberto focused his eyes on Louis pants making Louis feel quite uncomfortable. "W-Why are you staring... Staring at my pants...?" Louis stuttered looking incredibly shy. Roberto immediately raised his arm and pointed towards his pants. "Why aren't you wearing tights!?" Edward immediately gasped at those words and looked to Louis who was now red as a cherry. "I... Uh, Um..." Louis couldn't find the words to say and looked away. Edward was in total shock at this discovery and kept looking between Roberto and Louis pants. "Louis! Where are your tights!?" Edward demanded an answer. "I don't know..." Louis squeaked, his whole body was shaking from his nerves as everyone was staring at his pants; not somewhere he wanted everyone focusing their attention.

Roberto and Edward both couldn't believe their sidekicks were not wearing their tights and were ashamed. "Alberto, go home this instant and put your tights on!" Roberto stood right infront of Alberto and waved a finger at his face. And Edward was doing the same to Louis. Both of them didn't know how to answer their masters, they just wanted to get out of there. "So, Louis why won't you tell me why you can't put on your tights?" Louis gulped before replying his eyes were focused on the ground. "You see... I..." he was very worried about what would happen upon him revealing the truth about his tights. "I sorta dropped them in a fire and then before I had a chance to save them a giant bird swooped down and took them, it must have a fancy for tights or something." Edward's face scrunched up, he couldn't believe what Louis just told him. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "What... What the heck did you just say...?" Louis looked at him and smiled."its true! Alberto was there when it happened! A bird took his tights to!" Louis looked at Alberto with a grin and Alberto looked at him dumbfounded and mouthed off 'are you kidding me? I wouldn't even believe that...' Edward just nodded his head. "I see..." Edward looked to be deep in thought as Roberto spoke up. "So that's what happened! Al, why didn't you just tell me a giant bird stole your tights. Gosh, even birds are jealous of our sexy tights. What's this world coming to..."

Alberto gasped, he couldn't believe their masters fell for it. He didn't think it was possible, Alberto looked in shock at Louis who looked happy that his plan worked. Suddenly, Edward clapped his hands. "Aha! We are going to get those birds! No bird steals our tights and gets away with it!" Roberto nodded his head. "I agree! Let's start Operation: Bird hunt immediately." Now Louis and Alberto were both in shock, they never thought their master were possible of trying to do something so stupid but then they thought they do love tights after all so anything is possible. Louis walked over to Alberto while Edward and Roberto were talking, they were now on truce until they find the birds.

Louis hit Alberto on the side of his arm. "Well at least we don't have to wear our tights for awhile. I never thought they'd believe something so ridiculous as that though." Louis began laughing. "Yeah. I didn't think that was possible... And to think they are trucing to catch a bird that doesn't exist. They might be after it forever..." Alberto sighed. "Ooh, you are right... Hey what did you really do with your tights by the way?" Louis asked curiously and Alberto just smirked. "Heh, it's a secret." Louis huffed, "Fine if you don't want to tell me then I won't tell you what I did with mine either!"

Suddenly in the distance a soft voice could be heard approaching them and everyone turned in the direction it was coming from. Alberto and Louis looked on in horror. The figure approaching them was someone they all knew maybe a little to well, in her hands she carried something that just about made Alberto and Louis pass out. "Heeey!" She shouted as she waved her arm running towards them. Louis and Alberto wished she'd go away but Edward and Roberto spotted what she was carrying and looked on curiously. She approached the four of them, she panted a little from her run. She stood there and smiled at them all. "Louis, Alberto. You left these at my place. I know you need them so I bought them as fast as I could." In her hand she held two pairs of tights and handed them out to Louis and Alberto who completely froze up. "Alberto... Don't tell me... You did exactly what I did..?" Louis whispered and Alberto slowly nodded his head whilecin shock. "Yeah... Worst decision of my life..." She giggled at them as they took the tights in hand. " I'm happy I got them here. Well I'll see you all later. Bye!" She waved and walked off. Louis and Alberto gulped as they held the tights in their hands as Roberto and Edward glared at them. "There was no giant bird was there!? Were you two trying to make a fool of us?!" Edward shouted looking unimpressed. They both shook there heads "N-No!" The two said in unison. Roberto huffed. "You know what happens to naughty sidekicks right?" Roberto said inching closer to them. "They get punished!" Edward said. Louis and Alberto looked at each other and slowly backed away from their masters. "Hey, Ed let's stay on truce just a little longer to punish these two." Roberto said with a wicked smile which scared the heck out of the poor guys. Edward smiled back in the same manner and nodded his head. "Lets." Louis and Alberto could take no more and bolted with Edward and Roberto in tow. Edward and Roberto burst out laughing in their chase thoroughly enjoying themselves while Louis and Alberto looked very distressed as they ran with tears in their eyes; their screams echoed throughout the neighborhood. They both regretted their decision of hiding their tights and making a fool of their masters, something they would be sure not to repeat again anytime soon.


End file.
